POR Competitions


 Patron of Reading


Over the last few weeks, students in years 7 and 8 have been working hard on projects about Animals and 19th Century Writers respectively.  They were asked to produce a double side spread of information about their chosen subject, and to include a reference to another book and a fun element.  I was delighted to be asked to judge the finished projects and was amazed by the standard of work produced. On Monday 30 January I presented prizes and certificates to the following students  

Year 7  - Animal Project
Lizzie Miller and Ruby Collett
Lauren Ferris
Daisy Griffin
Amina Ishtiaq and Hassanah Ishfaq
Josh Jaison
Lucy Ellis
Amalie Martin
Year 8 19 Century Writers
Meg Bury and Isobel Gray
Harry Brimell and Demi Aceto
Emily Davis and Dixie Stone
Here are some of the students with their certificates. Well done everyone!
Megan Bury, Isabel Gray, Emily Davis, Dixie Stone (Y8)  Josh Jaison, Amina Ishtiaq, Hasanah Ishfaq (Y7)
IMG_0858                    IMG_0859 (1)



Here are Abiya Joshy, Ciaran Gould, Max Stanley and Amy Laughlan with their certificates. Well done! 


         Abiya Joshy                Ciaran Gould                      Max Stanley    



    Amy Laughlan        


Thank you all for your wonderful entries. We really enjoyed reading them. It's been a tough decision but Mrs Bromyard and I have finally chosen the competition winners. They are:

Favourite character


Abiya Joshy


Runners up

Cameron Taylor

Chloe Rooke and Maria Christodoulou


Book Reviews


 Amy Laughlan  

Runners up

 Max Stanley

 Alpha Sunny

Special Recommendations

Ciaran Gould for his story The Long Road Ahead

Jessica Ienzi for her poem The Deep Blue Sea 


Well done everyone. I will be in school on Wednesday  15th June to present the prizes.

We've had some entries in for the 'Book Character Friend' competition already. Keep up the good work! These are great. Some of you have sent pictures of your character too. Well done!

Abiya Joshy sent in a brilliant Powerpoint presentation. I'm afraid I've had to post it frame by frame, which is a shame as Abiya did the presentation so well.

slide 1    slide 2    slide 3    slide 4






Samuel Bradburn Year 7


bilbo bagginsBilbo Baggins  from The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

If I HAD to choose a friend from a book, I would pick Bilbo Baggins in a heartbeat. I mean, this guy SLAYED a dragon, so he’d be a great bodyguard. His is loyal to his friends, never letting them down - literally jumping in front of a Dragon for them. What a good friend!

 (Just DON’T give him a ring)



 Gianluca Fudger Year 7

 bpBlack-Pokemon from Black and White Adventures-Magna


I would have to choose this character because he is from one of my favourite books made from a game. He is a fierce person and wants to achieve a certain goal in his life. A way to be friends is that he is a loyal and trustable like I can be sometimes to Pokemon.



Chlore Rooke and Maria Christodoulou Year 7

Mary Poppins by P L Travers

mary poppins 

We think that Mary Poppins would be a good friend because in the book Mary Poppins,  she would always come out of nowhere and help other people. You need a friend to always be there for you when you are upset. This is why we choose Mary Poppins.



Chloe Williams Year 7


dobbyDobby from Harry Potter by J K Rowling


I would like to be friends with dobby from Harry Potter because he can protect you and he cares for you when you need him. Dobby is a very loving character and doesn’t let you down. Also it would be cool to be friends with him because he is magic.


Jessica Williams Year 7

Harry Potter by J K Rowling


harry potterIf I chose a book character to be my friend  I would choose Harry Potter because he can fly on a broom and it would be cool if he taught me  to fly and also really fun. I would also like to join him at school because it would be really exciting and interesting to go to school at Hogwarts.



Cameron Taylor Year 7

Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

My book character friend would be Katniss Everdeen as she would protect me if I was ever in danger.  She would also help me if I were injured or sick as she is trained in first aid/ She is incredibly nice and friendly and would be my dream friend.


Lauren Mae Sparrow Year 7

Sherlock Holmes I would like to be friends with Sherlock Holmes as he goes on amazing murder cases and other crimes and I love a good puzzle to solve. He would always stand up for himself and he wouldn’t care what people think. I also like hear other people’s stories.


Isabella Carter Year 7

Morgan from Perfect Summer by Karen King

It would be amazing to have Morgan as a friend, she is kind courageous and never gives up on her brother.  She lives in a world where she and I would have an adventure.  With such a vivid imaginary world we could excel to the highest mountain.  Morgan and I would be a great team!


Ellie Cross Year 7

Havoc from The Burning Shadow (Gods and Warriors series 2nd book) by Michelle Paver

I would like to have Havoc the lion cub as a friend because I really love lions. She is playful and mischievous, which are qualities I like in my friends. Also, lions have a better sense of smell and hearing than humans so she could warn me when danger came.





Hello everyone, I hope you're all ready for the next competition because it really is a fab one! You can read all about it on the poster Mrs Bromyard designed below. I can't wait to see all your entries!


 book character competiton jpg



The winners of the 'Book Dedication Competition have been chosen. And what a difficult task it was. There were so many fabulous entries, but Mrs Bromyard and I finally decided on these winners:

FirstAbiya Joshy  - Binny for Short 

SecondMegan Bury - Victory Dogs 
Third - Abiya Joshy and Priscilla Denson - Hetty Feather
Highly Commended
Ross McDonalad
Ellie Cross
Agnal Thomas and Alpha Sunny


Well done everyone! I'll be awarding the prizes and certificates on Friday 4th March.



More brilliant entries for the Book Dedication Competition. I'm really impressed with the entries you're sending in. Keep them coming!

Here we are, the final submissions as the competition closes today. Well done everyone for your brilliant entries. You've worked so hard. Mrs Bromyard and I will be choosing the winners over the half-term. The artwork entries are amazing, but the competition asked you to 'find an interesting dedication and say why you like it' so we'll be judging the entries in this context.  Have a good half-term break. :)




The following art entries were submitted by: The Look - Aneesha Joseph, Dragon Rider  - Alpha Sunny, War Horse - Alpha Sunny and Aneesha Joseph, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - Agnal Thomas and Alpha Sunny, The Great Escape -(two sides) - Abiya Joshy, Celeste - Alpha Sunny. Excellent work!


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Chelsea Probert

A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book No 3 by Lemony Snicket
For Beatrice I would much prefer it if you were alive and well. 
I like this because it's interesting and the author wanted her to be there to read his story.




Here's two more entries by Abiya Joshy


Mistletoe Mansion by Samantha Tonge

Martin, Spencer and Dad - ha' way the golfing lads!

I really like the dedication because  it shows how sometimes memories fade away like snow once the sun has came out but special memories will stay in your mind forever which is very sweet, like the book dedication written by Samantha. She remembers her great times with her Dad, Martin and Spencer which reflects on how a great time will never be forgotten.




The adventures of Gully Potchard by Julia Lee

For my sons
I think that Julia Lee wanted to express her love to her sons by writing the book.  Maybe that might be because it is a book that has adventure and is a magnificent book so she probably linked it with her sons to show her past with her children, when they were young and also when they grew older.



 Alpha Sunny and Josna Jose  - Dork Diaries by Rachel Rennee Russell


Abiya Joshy and Priscilla Denson - Hetty Feather by Jacqueline Wilson                   


Abiya Joshy - Dark Tree Shining by Paula Harrison




The book dedications are coming in! Here's the entries so far - Agnal Thomas and Alpha Sunny are leading the board with four entries. Well done, girls!



 Agnal Thomas sent this innovative dedication for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows by J.K. Rowling.






The Victory Dogs by Megan Rix


In memory of the heroes of the Second World War, both two legged and four.
I like this dedication because it remembers both people and animals alike, who served their part in the war.
Megan Bury


 Alpha Sunny sent in her dedication written inside this heart. Isn't it lovely?



It by Stephen King
This book is gratefully dedicated to my children.  My Mother and my wife told me how to fill a book with love and my children taught me to be free.
The centre of the heart says
I love this book because it is different from other books, full of enthusism.  I don't know how the author thought of so many ideas.  It talks about life from a child to adult.The author has a mixture of feelings, such as happy and sad, happy and scary.  I would encourage other people to read this book. I give it 5*/5*

Respect by Michaela Morgan


For all of the unsung heroes

I like the dedication because we just had holocaust week and people trying to stop the holocaust and people killed in the holocaust were all unsung heroes. Maximilian was one of those unsung heroes.

Ross Macdonald

Binny for Short by Hilary McKay

For Siân Grace Phillips with many thanks for all the lovely letters, and lots of love from Hilary McKay (Alacrity is a great word)
I like this book dedication a lot because before I never used to look at the dedication and now I have realised that the book dedications have a special meaning and is a symbol of memory to the author to remember how the book was made and all the people who helped to form this great book. In return Hilary McKay has thanked Siân Grace Phillips for the fancy letters and shows how important it is. I also learnt the meaning for alacrity which means brisk and cheerful readiness. I later realized that the book is actually about getting over things and being cheerful. I think this is a great way to express your feelings towards someone.
Abiya Joshy



The Ghostbox by Catherine Fisher


With special thanks to our readers:

Tish Farrell

Mandy Haines

Heather Lowe

Sarika Parma

I really like the dedication for this book because it is dedicated to the first readers of the book and I think that is very interesting and kind of the author because the name of the readers will always remain in the book showing how kind authors can be dedicating their very own book to the very first readers so It shows authors won't forget their first readers.
Abiya Joshy



Jacky Daydream by Jacqueline Wilson

Dedication: 'For Emma ,with all my love '
I think that is very sweet of Jacqueline to do that because we have no clue who she is talking about! It could be her daughter, or it could be her mum!  It could be her friend or it could be her aunt we don't know but one thing is for sure that Jacqueline wrote this book with all her love so it's definitely someone very close to her.
Agnal Thomas and Alpha Sunny
The Horse Road by Troon Harrison
Dedication: 'For my dear friends ,Shelley ,Patty ,Jane and Henry. You have deeply enriched my life for many years!'
I like this Dedication very much because it's to her friends and friends might mean everything to her like my friends mean everything  to me.  When you become a author you'll either make more friends or make more fans.  You could make more friends because everyone likes you because you're now pretty much famous and kids like to read the books.  They might make more fans because your book might get popular so you'll have loads of people reading it and they all become your fans.
 Agnal Thomas and Alpha Sunny
Shine by Kate Maryon
Dedication: 'For my brother Tim and sister Susie ,against all odds, like stars at night we shine. I love you both with all my heart x'
I thought this was a nice dedication because it's very rare someone would write a book dedicated to their brothers or sisters, and it's also quite sweet.  By the time you're an author you might forget your family especially your brothers and sisters.  In this dedication it says 'like stars at night we shine' I  think this means that they will always be together which is pretty much a big thing.
 Agnal Thomas and Alpha Sunny
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling
The dedication is for seven people and its the seventh book in the series, and it is written in the shape of a lightning bolt.
Ellie Cross



New Year, New Competition

What's your favourite book dedication?


Have you ever noticed the author's dedication inside a book? You usually find it on one of the front pages, before the story starts.

Authors often dedicate their books to someone, perhaps a loved family member, or someone who has supported them with their writing.  Sometimes a dedication is made to the people who are the subject of the book.  There are many more reasons for these dedications, we may never get to know who they are,  or why they have had a dedication, but they are very important to the author.

For example, my YA Sapphire Blue is dedicated to my husband Dave. The dedication says For Dave. I'd go to Red for you. Anyone who has read Sapphire Blue will know that Red isn't a very nice place at all! And my dedication inside Witch Angel:The Sceptre of Truth says 'For friends everywhere. Friends are the family you choose. Jess C.Scott'. Do you think these dedications give you an idea what the books are about?

To enter this competition, find a book with an interesting dedication, and say why you like it.

Email or hand in your entry to Mrs Bromyard in the Library.

Closing date Friday 12th February.



Image from pixabay.com









Christmas Competition


The Winners 


It's always a tough decision to choose the winners of a competition. You all work so hard and the standard is high. Mrs Bromyard and myself have loved looking at your pictures and reading your stories, poems and book reviews. We've finally decided on the winners. Prizes and certificates will be awarded in the New Year. :)

First prize goes to Abiya Joshy for this fabulous Christmas box. She wrote a poem inside too. Well done, Abiya!

p1060593               p1060591              p1060592


Second prize goes to Gianluca Fudger for his Christmas story titled Five Nights at Freddy's at Christmas. Well done, Gianluca.

gianluca fudger


Third prize goes to Sophie Kenny for her colourful picture.


sophie kenny

And Max Stanely will receive a Highly Commended certificate for his Christmas poem, below. Good work, Max!


It has started snowing,

Children's faces are glowing,

Tonight they go to bed knowing,

That tomorrow's Christmas Day.


This is the day when we celebrate Jesus' glorious birth,

This is the day when we celebrate God blessing his Earth.


Children can't help the feeling,

That makes them bounce of the ceiling,

But so few of them are kneeling,

To stop and pray.


This is the day when we celebrate Jesus' glorious birth,

This is the day when we celebrate God blessing his Earth.


The real Christmas is dying,

While the reindeer are flying,

So we need to start trying,

To get Christ back in the hay.


This is the day when we celebrate Jesus' glorious birth, 

This is the day when we celebrate God blessing his Earth.



The competiton has now closed and here are the final entries. Winners will be announced soon!

This fab picture was drawn by Paula Len.


A lovely poem from Alpha Sunny
Two merry blue-bells
A very little nose
A long snowy beard
And cheeks like a rose
A round chubby man
A big bulging bag
Hurrah for old Santa
We're glad he's come back

And a Christmas book review from Alpha too. 

A Christmas Carol - by Charles Dickens
This book is a different emotional book, it makes you feel angry, happy and sad.  Scrooge is grumpy and selfish.  He believes homeless people should either go to prison or into the workhouse.  the main poin is that he hates Christmas, which is "impossible" and he is not at all generous to anyone.  He treats everyone harshly.
On a wintry night he was haunted by three Christmas ghosts and this changes his life completely from "hating" Christmas to "loving" it.
This adventurous, mysterious book touched right in the heart.  I couldn't stop reading it. I would recommend this book as a family time book.
I think the moral of the story is to be generous and kind at Christmas and also spend time with friends and family.  I would give this book 9/10 because it is amazing.


Here's three more competition entries by Gianluca Fudger, Sophie Kenny and Agnal Thomas. Aren't they wonderful?



gianluca fudger                      sophie kenny              agnal thomas



More Christmas book reviews


Tia Roberts 


The Lost Christmas by David Logan


This book is sad at points and it goes into deep description. I read this book and as soon as I started the book I was caught in it already.




Jessica Williams and Chloe Rooke


The Big Fat Father Christmas Joke Book by Terry Deary


This book is a Christmas joke book for younger children.
I would recommend this for younger children.
This book is for someone that likes Christmas and jokes.





Wow! Wow! Wow! Just look at this amazing entry by Abiya Joshy! 


p1060593          p1060591       p1060592



The entries keep coming in! Here are two lovely Christmas poems.


agnals poem



This Christmas poem by Max Stanley, YR7 will make you think, are we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?


It has started snowing,

Children's faces are glowing,

Tonight they go to bed knowing,

That tomorrow's Christmas Day.


This is the day when we celebrate Jesus' glorious birth,

This is the day when we celebrate God blessing his Earth.


Children can't help the feeling,

That makes them bounce of the ceiling,

But so few of them are kneeling,

To stop and pray.


This is the day when we celebrate Jesus' glorious birth,

This is the day when we celebrate God blessing his Earth.


The real Christmas is dying,

While the reindeer are flying,

So we need to start trying,

To get Christ back in the hay.


This is the day when we celebrate Jesus' glorious birth, 
This is the day when we celebrate God blessing his Earth.




 A retelling of the Christmas story by Agnal Thomas, YR 8.


Have you ever thought about the real true story of Christmas ,have you heard of the true story ,would you like to know?  Well it all begins here  ………………

God sent Angel Gabriel to a virgin pledged to man named Joseph .The virgin’s name was Mary .The Angel went to her and said “Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.  But the Angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favour with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The Angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the Holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.  Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.” “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the Angel left her.

After a few months ……………………....

Mary and Joseph had to travel to the City of Bethlehem to register for a census ordered by the Roman Emperor, Caesar Augustus. Both Nazareth and Bethlehem are in the country now called Israel. It is about 65 miles (105 km) from Nazareth to Bethlehem, and the trip probably took them several days.

When Joseph and Mary got to Bethlehem, there was no place for them to stay because the inn was already full. They ended up spending the night in a stable, a place where animals were kept. There was probably fresh hay on the floor that they used for beds.

That night, Jesus was born. There was no crib, so they laid baby Jesus in a manger, a feeding trough for animals. The manger probably had fresh hay in it and made a nice bed for the baby.

That day was Christmas Day, this is the true story.


 The first entry is in! A book review by AgnalThomas. Congratulations on being the first one to enter the competition, Agnal. :)

Lost Christmas by David Logan

lost christmasThis book is a very sad book but also a book that makes you feel very enthusiastic. This story is about a boy named Goose who has lost his parents in a car crash and his grandmother has senile dementia .This a heart warming adventurous book which is perfect for the Christmas time. When I read the book I just couldn't put the book down. This story is very heart touching because no one would want to lose their parents especially at a time like Christmas Eve.




I hope you'll all take part in our fun Christmas competition, the details are below, and there's also a poster on the wall in the library. I can't wait to read your entries!

There's a special Christmas present for the winning entry (entries). Competition closes 16th December.  As usual, please give your entries to Mrs Bromyard at the library.


christmas comp



Mrs Bromyard has made display boards of all the winning entries. Aren't they fabulous?


myth 1

                     myth 2




It's been a really tough decision as you all created such fabulous mythical creatures, but Mrs Bromyard and I have finally selected the winners. Sarah Cross was the overall winner for her brilliantly detailed Creature File. She  wrote character profiles for the male and female species of the Yama no Shi  (Death of the Mountain) and other marvellous creatures. She also detailed the stages of growth. A wonderful piece of work. Well done Sarah. Here are a few pictures from Sarah's book. Aren't they fantastic?

sarah cross 1        sarah2          sarah 3

In second place was Charlie Hemming-Williams for her imaginative creature Chilopoda Chlamydosaurus (The Legged Mother). Charlie drew a picture of the monster and wrote a character profile. Here they are. Well done, Charlie.



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In third place was Rachel Andrews for this imaginative beast, owned by Hades, Greek God of the Underworld. Rachel used collage to create her picture.


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The standard of entries was so good that Mrs Bromyard and I decided to give some Special Commendations to the following students.

Alpha Sunny and Abiya Joshy worked together to create these three mythical creatures.


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Ellie Cross, Robert Smigielski and Kelly Gregory created these three mythical beasts. 

islaman              robert s 1             kelly g


                                                         Excellent work everyone. I'm very impressed by your imagination and creativity.


Competition Entries


The entries have been coming in thick and fast for The Mythical Creatures competition. Just look at these fantastic creations. Congratulations to everyone who entered, I'm sorry I don't have room to put all your pictures here but you all did really well. I'm so impressed! Winners will be announced soon.


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Entries by Rachel Andrews, James Jenkins, Charlie Hemming Williams,  Abiya Joshy, Alpha Sunny, Aston White, Bailey May Riching, Elijah Martin and Nadeisha-Maria Byng.


New Term, New Competition!


You all did so fantastically well in the 'design a bookmark' competition earlier this year that Mrs Bromyard and I decided we'd run another design competition. This time it's to create your own mythical creature.

The creature can be anything you like and as imaginative as you want. It can have wings, horns, six legs, two heads, be a giant or teeny tiny. I not only want you to design the creature, I want you to tell me a bit about it. Think about how it looks, how it acts, where it lives. I've given Mrs Bromyard a character profile sheet that I often use to help me think about my characters - it might help get you thinking. There is also a template sheet for you to draw a picture of your mythical creature and write a bit about it.

If you want some inspiration take a look at the mythical creature images on this website: 


I can't wait to see all the weird and wonderful creatures you come up with!





This competition is now closed.The winner will be announced shortly. 


I love jokes and have written several joke books, here's my latest.

KK with Joke Book

So I thought it would be fun to have a joke competition and the first prize will be a copy of my joke book.

Email Mrs Bromyard your favourite joke, it doesn't have to be an original one.

The joke that makes me laugh most will win the Joke Book.

All entries by Friday 26 June please, so the winner can be announced before the end of Summer Term.

Well I've been away for a week and you've all been busy sending your jokes to Mrs Bromyard. She's saved them for me and I'm putting them up now. We're going to have a tough job choosing a winner from these. :)


Boom! Boom! The jokes keep coming in!  Even Mrs Bromyard And Mr Price have entered!


Agnal Thomas made this cute cat bookmark for her joke book. Love it Agnal!





Hayden Shaw

 Q.Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar

 A.They each got 6 months


Mrs Ruth Hinsley

 Q.  Why did the diver blush?

 A.  Because he saw Queen Mary’s bottom!


Louis Makepeace

Q Why did the burglar steal from the bakery?

A He needed the dough


Q What do you feed an invisible cat?

A Evaporated milk.


George Davies
Two owls were watching snooker,
First owl .... "whats the score?"
Second owl ..."Two wits"
First owl  ......."To who?"

Callum Marshall

Q. Why did the banana go to hospital?

A Because it wasn’t peeling very well!


Q  Why did the man eat at the bank?

A   He wanted to eat rich food.


Q Waiter waiter what is this fly doing in my soup?

A. looks like the back stroke sir!


Annabella Reeks

 Q.  Why did the monster eat a light bulb? 

A He needed a light snack


Cheralyn Scarrott

 Q. What do you get if you eat Christmas Decorations?

A Tinselitus


Mrs Alison Wing

 I trained my dog not to beg at the table.

 How did you do that?

I let him taste my cooking!


Mrs Linda Bromyard

 Q.  What do you get when you cross a witch with an ice cube?

 A..A cold spell


 Q.  Why does the mushroom have so many friends?

 A.  Because he is a funghi


Q.   What is the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

A.   A weasel is weasily recognised and a stoat is stoatally different.


Q  What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?



Harry Jackman

Q  Why did the thief take a bath?

A  So he could make a clean getaway!


Frankie Blincoe-Deval

Argon walks into a bar, and the bar tender says: “Hey, get out of here, can’t you see the sign? No Noble gases allowed!” Argon simply doesn’t react.


Luke Kelleher

Q  Why did the lady throw the clock out of the window?

A  She wanted to see time fly.


Ross Macdonald
Q  What did the German police officer say to the runner?

A  You’re under a vest


Pascal Bauer

Why couldn't Dracula go to sleep?

Because of his coffin.


A Woman runs into the doctor’s office and says “Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me.  Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts.”

The Doctor replied “Show me”

So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain.  Then she poked her knee and yelled OW!  She poked her forehead and screamed again.

She was about to continue when the Doctor said. “That’s enough, let me think!”  He thought for a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is, you broke your finger”


Mrs Karen Ennis

Q  Where do baby monkeys sleep?

A  In apri-cots!


Tyler Shaw

Q  What is red and gets stuck in your teeth?

A  A brick


Kiela Peart
Q  What did the teacher say when he walked into the staff room?
A  I.C.T


Bethany Spencer

Q. What sort of cat works form the Red Cross?

 A.  A First Aid Kit.


Q  Why did the boy stand behind the horse? 

A   He thought he might get a kick out of it!


Q  What do you give a sick horse?
 A  Cough stirrup


Q   A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? 
A   The horse's name was Friday


 A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”  The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.  He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?”  The barman says: “Hmm, ok... but don’t be starting anything.”

 A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness.  He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?”  “Why, what have you got?”  “About £2 and a carrot.”

Horse #1: I'm sure glad I'm not a bird. I could get hurt!
Horse #2: Why is that?
Horse #1: I can't fly.

A man walks up to a Shetland pony and asks:
"do you have a sore throat?"
The pony replies:
"No,  I’m just a little horse"

Q.  What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A   Thoroughbred


Mr Martyn Price

 Q  What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?

 A  No thanks, I’m stuffed!


 Magdalene Blincoe-Deval

 What cheese do you use to hide a horse?



 What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a cave?



Ximie Liu

 What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?


* Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye”? I teach reading, not art.


* Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.


Ross Ward

 Why didn’t the dog want to play tennis?

 Because he was a boxer


Hannah Veccepure

 Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window.

 Teacher: who just threw that?! 

 Boy: Me! I’m going home now.


 Mrs Jean Hodgetts

 Knock knock!

 Who's there?

 The interrupting cow.

 The interrup . . . MOO!


Why did the man get sacked from the M&M factory?

 Because he kept on throwing away the Ws!


 Haikus are easy

 But sometimes they don't make sense



 Knock knock

 Who's there?

 A little old lady.

 A little old lady who?

 I didn't know you could yodel!


 What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back/

 A stick!


 What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?  Cliff!


 What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?  A woolly jumper!


Rory Othen

Why aren’t there any headache pills in the jungle?

Because the parrots ate ‘em all! (Paracetomol)


My sister said I couldn’t make car out of spaghetti.  You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!


Dan Howell

Why did the chicken join the band?

Because he had drum sticks!


Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

Because it ran out of juice!


George Davies

Did you hear about the man who injected himself with curry powder?

He’s in a korma


Kieran Richardson

There are two crisps walking down a road a man pulls over and says, "Do you want a lift?" 
The crisps reply, "No we are walkers".


More jokes from Agnal Thomas

 Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce who? Lettuce in it’s cold out here


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah who?
Noah good place we can get something to eat?

Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost and a cat ?
A: A scaredy cat

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and drumsticks?
A: Fishsticks

Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a stereo?
A: Cool music!


George Sheridan

Two TV antennas got married, the service was rubbish but the reception was great.


Harry Jackman

An old lady and an old man fell in a hole guess who got out first?

The old lady she had ladders in her tights.


 Megan Holford

Q - What is the difference between the Lochness Monster and a nice teacher

A - There is a chance the Lochness Monster exists 


Mr Price

 Q ...Why did the orange stop  

 A .... It ran out of juice


Q ... What do you call two robbers

  A ... A pair of knickers

And here's a clever joke from Christopher Harrison
If you get cold stand in the corner its normally 90 degrees !
These two jokes are from Agnal Thomas
Jack: Would you like some Egyptian pie ?
Jill: What's Egyptian pie ?
Jack : You know the the kind mummy used to make
What vitamins help you see
Vitamin C


More jokes from Abiya Joshy - Well done, Abiya!

What did the mother biscuit say when her baby got run over ?

"Oh crumbs!"


What did the pork chop say to the steak?

Nice to meat you


What did the teddy say when he was offered dessert?

No thanks I am stuffed.


Why did the student eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake?


Why did the man concentrate on the orange juice carton?

Because it said concentrate.


What kind of drink never runs out?



Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

A: Take the words out of his mouth!


Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?

Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring! 


Mrs Bromyard 

Did you hear about the man who put his false teeth in back to front? 

He swallowed himself!


 Hannah Richardson 9L 

What do you get if you cross a bear with a skunk?  

Winnie the Pooh!!                         


"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."  

"Pull yourself together." 


"Doctor, Doctor, I've just swallowed a roll of film."  

"Well lets hope nothing develops." 


How does an elephant get down from a tree? 

He sits on a leaf and waits for the fall!! 


 Jack Griffith


What do you call a women who can't stop reading books?  

 Paige Turner.


Blain Taylor

Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? 

Because the 'p' is silent.



Abiya Joshy 

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? 

A: Because she will Let it go. 


To start off the competition here is the very first entry by Bethany Spencer Year 7

Q.What type of horses do monsters use for racing?
A. Nightmares!


There were some fantastic entries for the bookmark competition. I found it really difficult to choose the winners, so have awarded nine highly commended certificates as well as the top three winners. Well done everyone and thank you all for taking part.

Here are the winning entries - Aren't they fabulous?

Ist prize goes to Isabelle Cavaciuti 9L    2nd prize goes to Leo Carl Abad 9A     3rd Prize goes to Elena Davison 9LIsabelle Cavaciuti                     Leo Carl Abad                               Elena Davison


Highly Commended

 These bookmarks were designed by Will Blackledge 9J, Daisy Martin 9P and Alice Hancock YR8.

                                                                                 Vanessa Lindoe 9S and Stanley Asomugha 9A

Runners up 1                     Runners up 2

Elena Davison                                                                    George Griffin 9W                      Josh H 9S and Elsa Fox

 Elena Davison                                        George Griffin 9W                           Scan_20150529 (3)

 And a Special Commendation to Sara Stephens, Art Technician for this super Owl Bookmark. Great to see the teachers taking part too!









Bookmark Entries


I'll be putting all the entries for  POR Bookmark Competition on this page. Keep them coming in! 

Just look at these fabulous book marks!


All these bookmarks were created during Maths lessons

Maths1     Maths2



Maths3                          Maths4



Pile of bookmarks


Beth Simpson YR 7.

                                                                                  Abiya Joshy, YR 7  (front and back)                                     Tania Ferdous                             Bookmark 1

            IMG_0186        IMG_0187               Tanias bookmark


                Amani Hussein YR 7                  Hannah Richardson

             IMG_0190         IMG_0191